CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. part the last.

DAVY LEFT THE artist’s colony in anger and rage at Pat, who had given him a farewell nerple. When he again reached the village Davy got in touch with the real nerple support group and started his next journey, a journey towards a life free from fear of nerples and hermaphrodite sheep.

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. part the fifth. (part the second-to-last)

PAT WORE A pink tutu once and got caught. He ran away in humiliation, never again to be seen in the village. A pack of wild squirrels found him lying, a sad and broken sheep, in the wilderness, and took him in as one of them. He directs squirrel traffic, as he always knew he was called to do, and keeps in touch with Hortensia.

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. part the fourth.

ELFY AND HORTENSIA were wed soon after returning to the kingdom. Hortensia, once back in her palace tower and reunited with the gilded hairbrush, realized that she could never be a forest ranger or an adventurer, and she relinquished all her thoughts of ever leaving the kingdom again. Elfy gladly gave up his rugged outdoorsy life for Hortensia’s wealth and riches, and the two retired into hih society and the world of cocktail parties and charity balls. Hortensia did keep in touch with Pat, inviting him now and again to be a guest at a social function.

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. part the third.

MORPEHUS RETREATED TO the mountains, where he set up a little cottage in the forest and practiced his mysticism in private. All was well until the day he leaned in too far over his subterranean cistern and fell in. And that was the beginning of wishing wells.

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. Part the Second.

JOVIAL BOB RODE off to reclaim all that Joel had left behind. He ruled for exactly three weeks before facing his first conflict: villagers complained of a smooth-talking boll weevil trying to peddle Michael Jackson videos and bootleg DVD’s smuggled in from China. Jovial Bob tracked down the boll weevil, banishing it forever from the kingdom.

CHAPTER THE SIXTEENTH. The breaking of the fellowship; aka epilogues

Part the First
THE FIRST TO leave were Senior Franklin and Small Child.
During the night they stole away with the red wagon, and began their trek. They made their way back across the darkest forests of the land. For much of the way they simply backtracked the Fellowship’s trail, and Small Child was delighted to have found a juice box that had fallen off the wagon days earlier. Senior Franklin inspected it, dusted it off, and gave it to the delighted Small Child. After days of journeying they returned to El Furioso where they met up again with Narco. They opened a tourist center and gift shop at the base of the ominous mountain, and are prospering financially.

CHAPTER THE FIFTEENTH. Joel found; in which we find joel at a secluded artists colony.

[after weeks of uneventful traversing and searching, the fellowship comes across a high wall and a large, heavy door. They stop for a while to admire it, and are indecisive as of what to do]

MORPHEUS. Well, it’s a wall. And a door.
SENIOR FRANKLIN. That it is.
SMALL CHILD. Bow.
JOVIAL BOB. Well lets not just stand here, fellowship! Either move on, or knock! Maybe they know where Joel is.
MORPHEUS. Fine, lets knock.

[the fellowship watches with trepidation as morpheus takes hold of the large iron knocker and, well, knocks. It echoes throughout the forest, yet no one answers. Just as the fellowship is ready to move on, the door swings open]

HORTENSIA. [gasps]
MORPHEUS. [kneels] dainga!
JOVIAL BOB. Can it truly be?
SMALL CHILD. Darn.
PAT. What, what is it?
SENIOR FRANKLIN. Joel!

[sure enough, joel stands at the entrance, cloaked in a flowing white tunic, a halo of light surrounding him. He smiles and beckons them in with an wave of his retractable claws]

JOEL. Welcome, weary travelers. I see the fellowship has finally succeeded in finding me! Come inside, let me show you around!
DAVY. This is so cool!
PAT. Wait a minute! [holds out his cloven hoof to stop morpheus and jovial bob] this whole time we’ve been looking for a cat? And you guys gave ME such a hard time for being a sheep!
JOVIAL BOB. This is different. Trust me. [brushes pat aside and enters the gates]
ELFY. [to hortensia] are you alright, darling?
HORTENSIA. [blowing her nose into a tissue] yes, yes, it’s just a very emotional time for me right now!
DAVY. [also blowing his nose] you’re telling me!

[the fellowship follows joel throughout the grounds, taking in the beauty around them and appreciating the expert landscaping]

JOEL. [as he points out different parts of the grounds] …it’s an artists colony. You’ll see over there Herb and Teri working on a landscape of the east gardens – they’re really quite lovely in the spring. José does all the gardening – well, him and all his “mejican workers.” We pay them in tacos. [waves to fellow artist, also cloaked in a white tunic] what’s up, Sam! [to fellowship] I would introduce you to him, but he’s, well, shall we say “socially akward.”
MORPHEUS. Joel, this is all very nice, but we need you to return to bottom earth with us. There is a shadow falling over the land!
JOEL. It’s just a big cloud.
MORPHEUS. Really?
JOEL. Yeah. Don’t you watch the weather channel? Thunderstorms are blowing in from middle earth. It’s going to be a great rainy season, up to seventeen inches. Believe you me, with last year’s drought we could certainly use it!
JOVIAL BOB. So you’re not coming back with us?
JOEL. Let me think. Uhh…….no.
SMALL CHILD. But who will rule bottom earth??
JOEL. He can. [points to jovial bob]
SMALL CHILD. [falling to his knees] Noooooo!
SENIOR FRANKLIN. Shh. Have a juice box.

[later that day, hortensia and joel are walking together through the gardens., catching up on old times]

HORTENSIA. Father, I’ve missed you so!
JOEL. Well, you knew where I was, why didn’t you visit?
HORTENSIA. I was pretty busy. Being beautiful and desired is hard work!
JOEL. That’s my girl!
HORTENSIA. Are you sure you won’t return with us, father?
JOEL. Horty, my place is here, with the artists. And yours is in the tall tower of the palace, where you can brush your hair all day long and be beautiful.
HORTENSIA. But father, I don’t want to sit around all day! I want adventure!
JOEL. Well, you had it, didn’t you?
HORTENSIA. I suppose. But I think I may apply for a new job. The whole “beautiful and desired” gig wasn’t really for me. I’m looking into a tour guide position at the state park, or maybe a job at the Australia zoo.
JOEL. Good for you, honey. Now give your old dad a hug and show me those claws!
HORTENSIA. [laughing merrily] oh, father! [springs out retractables] hissssssssssssssssssssssss!!